"Hello boss it's Nikki here! Hope your trip is going well. I hope you're missing me and the girls in the officewell me in particular! I have remembered today is your birthday. Happy birthday! I wish I could be with you, but as I can't I thought I'd send you this video.

I hope you like my outfit. I got dressed up especially for this video. I've even got these stockings on. Look!

I want you to be thinking of me all day. When you go into the bathroom and have a shave, just imagine that foam is going onto a plate just like this"

"And then you will go downstairs to have breakfast. How do you like your eggs in the morning? All over me hopefully."

"And when you are adding the beans to your plate imagine them all over me, dripping down"

"What do you get a man who has everything? Well I thought I'd make you a custard pie... I'd love to be putting it in your face, but I know you'd prefer to see it in mine."

"As it's your birthday I thought I'd bring some extra custard. I know how much you love custard!"

"And I know you like your girls to be sticky all over. I've bought this lovely syrup to help"

"But that's enough mess for now. I thought you'd like to have your very own birthday stripper!"

"Now I have bought you this cake. Do you like it?"

"Now I haven't got any spoons to eat it withyou'll just have to eat it directly off me after I sit in it"

"I always listen to your feedback, and when you said I need to put my big mouth to better use it inspired me for your final gift. It's a surprise, but it's a gift best given with me kneeling down. That's the only clue I can give you for now."

Now I've had a gunge vote here and guess whatI voted for myself (well there was only me here!) to get gunged. Would you like to see me covered in gunge?"

"I hope this makes your birthday special. They do say that an early morning wank eases stress so really this is all in the name of work. Make sure you keep thinking of me and when you get back we'll have one of those overnight work meetings we enjoy. Just remember to come up with a good excuse to tell your girlfriend!"